What Is Masculinity?

What is masculinity? Why should men seek to be masculine?

These questions are at the foundation on manhood, and yet, they are almost never talked about. As a result, with a few exceptions, men are left with little reprieve as they encounter the world and engage in it. Some popular celebrities and public figures have attempted to lay out a path for men to follow, but without setting the foundation first, they tend to lead others astray. To live a fulfilling and virtuous life, we need to know the ideal that we should be striving for.

What is masculinity?

To begin to be masculine, one must know what masculinity is. Simple enough. However, the concept is one that almost seems too nebulous to define. Yet, this difficulty in defining masculinity does not preclude one from learning about it- in a similar way of God being impossible of encapsulating yet infinitely possible of discovering.

Masculinity in many ways is the foundation of society. Why? In part, the mere fact that it is inseparable from virtue, and virtuousness is the only way in which community will thrive in the long term. A tyrant may allow an empire to rise, but he will never allow it to prosper. Thus, a masculine man is one that seeks virtue, and thus, orders himself towards good. Masculinity will inevitably grow as virtue does. For this reason, as Aquinas puts it, a man is only as great as his weakest virtue.

Virtue's breadth is much larger than that of masculinity. Otherwise, women seeking virtue would, by definition, become masculine, and this is self-evidently false, although many popular figures seem to discount this reality. Perfect masculinity and femininity both fit within the umbrella of virtue, but what is the distinction between the two? What separates the two is the order of action. The masculine is the one that initiates, giving himself to another.

People innately know this, despite the spirit of modernity attempting to invert this ordering. For example, the man is expected to initiate relationships with the woman, giving himself and opening himself to her response (whether it be positive or negative). This example is not meant to say that the reality is not sometimes the opposite, but it is meant to express what is clearly the case. The man acts. And, since masculinity is under the umbrella of virtue, the man grows in masculinity as long as his actions seek the good. Thus, one becomes masculine as he acts to better himself, others, or the world around him.

Why should men seek to be masculine?

One need not be a great thinker to see that men are not what they should be. One only needs to look at the world. Male suicide rates are off the charts, as are the rates of divorce and children born out of wedlock. Something is clearly wrong.

The solution for men is also clear. Men must become masculine. The answer to the question of "why should men seek to be masculine" is that no other alternative exists. At least, no other exists that does not lead ultimately to despair. The only way out is through. Acting to order yourself towards good is not an easy task. It involves the taking on of responsibility of yourself and the world.

A man should want to order himself, thus growing in masculinity, because it is what he is made to do. Man is made to directly affect, to bring about positive change in himself, those around him, and in the world. Yet, many men refuse to act, choosing to passively go through life, which leads them to ruin and misery. Why is this the result? They are going against their properly ordered nature.

Now, the reason why many men choose not to better themselves, instead passively allowing themselves to be swallowed up by the world, is also obvious. At its core, it comes down to an unwillingness to suffer. An unwillingness to suffer the consequences of taking on the responsibility of yourself and others. An unwillingness to go through difficulty. This reasoning is not entirely faulty. As every child has learned, if you touch a hot stove, you get burned. The mistake that these men make, however, is avoiding the stove by not going into the kitchen. Moreover, these men fail to realize that weapons are forged through heat.

It is only through the seeking of virtue that a man forges himself. Yes, by doing so, he is opening himself to suffering, either inflicted by himself, his loved ones, or the world. However, he also opens himself to growth and increases his ability to act upon things that are not ordered towards the good. As a result, men are faced with two options. He can passively go through life, avoiding any semblance of responsibility and ultimately becoming miserable and bitter. Or, he can choose to grow, knowing that he will suffer but also finding true joy and purpose along the way.

Picture attributed to Michelangelo, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons